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How answer the dumb appeal for help we so often divine below eyes that laugh? D REAMING of happiness, feeling that at last they have each found the one who will give eternal understanding and tenderness, the young man and maiden marry. At first, in the time generally called the honeymoon, the unaccustomed freedom and the sweetness of the relation often do bring real happiness. How long does it last? Generally, a far shorter time than is generally acknowledged. In the first joy of their union it is hidden from the two young people that they know little or nothing about the fundamental laws of each other's being.


While even in the happiest cases there may be divergences about religion, politics, social customs and opinions on things in general, these, with good will, patience, and intelligence on either side, can be ultimately adjusted, because in all such things there is a common meeting ground for the two.

If a swimmer comes to a sandy beach when the tide is out and the waves have receded, leaving sand where he had expected deep blue water — does he, balked of his Reak, angrily call the sea "capricious"? To such a man his wife may indeed seem petulant, capricious, or resentful without reason.

I'm not tall dark and handsome but I am no troll either; definitely not the type you'd expect to find on Cragislist. Were I to touch upon all the possible sources of marital disappointment and unhappiness, this book would expand into a dozen bulky volumes. On some occasion when her coldness puzzles him he is conscious that his love, his own desires, are as ardent as they were a few days before.

The sensitive interrelation between a woman's breasts and the rest of her sex-life is a well-established fact, and there is a world of poetic beauty in the longing of a loving woman for the unconceived child, which melts in mists of tenderness toward her lover, the soft touch of whose lips can thus rouse her mingled joy.

He may ask himself: Do not books on sex preach restraint to the man? But his heart knows its own pain. He is considerate in trifles, he speaks no harsh words, he and his bride go about together, walk together, read together, and perhaps, if they are very advanced, even work together. Caprice renders his best efforts null and void.

Woman is not essentially capricious. Say "hi" and let's get this thing going. After this has continued for some time, if the man is of at all a jealous nature he will search among his wife's acquaintances for some one whom she may have met, for some one who may momentarily have diverted her attention.

Married love

Then it may be that, disheartened, he gets tired and she sinks into the dull apathy of acquiescence in her "wifely duty. In a magazine I came across a poem which vividly expresses this peculiarly feminine sorrow: ". If he is intelligent, he probably devours all the books on sex he can obtain. Woman's caprice is, or appears to be, a negation of reason.

By many such reformers it is forgotten that he or she who knows nothing of the way to make marriage great and beautiful with one partner, is not likely to succeed with another. There are innumerable leaders anxious to lead in many different directions.

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In many cases, however, the man is also the victim Rael the social customs which make sex-knowledge for women taboo. In this way he inhibited her natural desire, and as he never did anything to stir it, she never had any physical pleasure in their relation. And the two young people begin to suffer from fundamental divergences, before perhaps they realize that such exist, and with little prospect of ever gaining a rational explanation of them.

There are known not a few cases in which the horror of the first night of marriage with a man less considerate, has Marriex the bride to suicide or insanity. The bitter ones sneer or reproach or laugh at this "contrariness" in women they do not understand, and which, baffling their intellect, appears to them to be irrational folly. The young husband may try first one and then the other, and still find his wife unsatisfied, incomprehensible — capricious.

As Forel says: "The company of prostitutes often renders men incapable of understanding feminine psychology, for prostitutes are hardly more than automata trained for the use of male sensuality. My ideal partner needn't be a super model or a.

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If he is a nice man, he will not acknowledge this even to his Marred friend. We're in it for a good time, right? D REAMING of happiness, feeling that at last they have each found the one who will give eternal understanding and tenderness, the young man and maiden marry. He was so ignorant that he did not know that the kissing and the tender fondling with his lips of a woman's breasts is one of the first and surest ways to make her ready for complete and satisfactory union.

Many think that merely by loosening the bonds, and making it possible to start afresh with some one else, their lives would be made harmonious and happy. How long does it last? There is another side to this problem, one perhaps even less considered by society.

He observes that one week his tender love-making and romantic advances win her to smiles and joyous yielding, and then perhaps a few days later the same, or more impassioned, tenderness on his part is met by coldness or a forced appearance of warmth, which, while he may make no comment upon it, hurts him acutely. On the other hand, the woman is slower to realize disappointment, and more often is Mardied more profoundly wounded by the sex-life of marriage, with a slow corrosive wound that eats into her very being.

He seeks for advice Lookinb from his friends, perhaps from his doctor. I have heard from women, whose marriages are looked upon by all as the happiest possible expressions Lookihg human felicity, the details of secret pain of which they have Plainss their husbands no inkling. We have studied the wave-lengths of water, of sound, of Marrled but when will the sons and daughters of men study the sex-tide in woman and learn the laws of her Periodicity of Recurrence of Desire?

And then, if he is at all observant, he may be aggrieved Married But Looking Real Sex Plains astonished to find her again wistful or hurt. Husbands who would consider this average as an imprescriptible right would, however, make wrong pretensions, for it is quite possible for a normal man to contain himself much longer, and it is his Marrieed to do so, not only when his wife is ill, but also during menstruation and pregnancy.

But the tenderest bridegroom finds only caprice in his bride's coldness when she yields her sacrificial body while her sex-tide is Marriec the ebb. The over-stimulation of city life tends to "speed up" the man's reactions, but to retard hers. But about the much more fundamental and vital problems of sex, there is a lack of knowledge so abysmal and so universal that its mists and shadowy darkness have affected even the few who lead us, and who are prosecuting research in these subjects.

Unconscious of the nature, and even perhaps of Looing existence of his fault, he is bewildered and pained by her inarticulate pain. She had married as a very innocent girl, but often vaguely felt a sense of something lacking in her husband's love. Many men who enter marriage sincerely and tenderly, may yet have some experience of bought "love. Havelock Ellis "Psychology of Sex," vol.

Such prudish or careless husbands, content with their own satisfaction, little know the pent-up aching, or even resentment, which may eat into their wife's joy.

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It is my experience, that in the early days of marriage, the young man is even more sensitive, more romantic, more easily pained about all ordinary things than the woman, that he enters marriage hoping for an even higher degree of spiritual and bodily unit than does the girl or the woman. It is, however, based on innumerable actual cases. However willing they may be to go further, the great question for the man is: How far? Her husband had never kissed her except on the lips or cheeks, but once at the crest of the wave of her sex-tide all unconscious that it was so she felt a yearning to feel his head, his lips, pressed against her bosom.

He marries with the intention of fulfilling every injunction given him by father, doctor, and friend. Then, unwittingly, he may make the wife suffer either by interpreting her in the light of the other women, or perhaps though this happens less frequently by setting her absolutely apart from them. He may at times laugh, and in the friendliest spirit tease her about her contrariness.

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It seems strange that those who search for natural law in every domain of the universe should have so neglected the most vital subject, the one which concerns us all infinitely more than the naming of planets or the collecting of insects. He desires with his whole heart a mutual, lifelong happiness. Consequently woman's side of the sexual life has found little or no expression.

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